Archive for April, 2012

My promise.

Posted in Uncategorized on April 4, 2012 by auberrykerrigan

I haven’t blogged for awhile now, Its strange to me. So much has happened to me in the past months. New pictures. New people. New me. I want what everybody wants. Love. And a tattoo. I want a tattoo that says ‘I got lost in us.’ Right under my heart, It means so much to me from the love I have had, from the people I have met and from the things I have done. The only problem with that is that my mom wont let me. I know, thats what moms are suppose to do, say no to things that are forever if your grades are bad. But this, this tattoo is more to me then anyone can comprehend it makes me tear up every time I think of all the memories that come with those words. I want it so bad, so I can set aside those memories and say to myself, Breath. It ll be okay. Things will change and you will get better and find love again. I want that, to be wanted by a guy my age who takes care of me and is a gentleman. Is that so hard to ask for? Apparently. I got my heart broken 9 months ago and he is still on my mind today, that’s how big of an impact his love had on me. You never really lose your first love, You just grow apart and hopefully, if you hope with all your heart you could, maybe, just maybe grow back together. But for now, all you can really do is get lost. I got lost in the love we had and i lost who i was, I gave him my everything and when he left me, I lost everything. That tattoo would also be a reminder of how not to get lost again, to stay true to myself and don’t give a guy my everything until he gives me his everything. I cant get lost again or else, Im afraid i wont be able to take it. I cant take heartbreak but the love that you get before it makes all the pain bearable.  No matter what, everyone deserves the kind of love I had. Where it wasn’t about the hugs, kisses, touches. It was about us. The way he said my name and called me everyday just to see how I was doing. When all he cared about is if I’m having a great day or not. Just like the Mariah Carey song, I just gotta shake it off, cuz his lovin aint the same.
To me, Its so much more then a tattoo. Its a promise.